


Wham Bam

by Quirkyasfok



Category: The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: Gold Trans Am by Kesha, Inspired by Music, M/M, Pole Dancing, Tony is a tease
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-08-31
Updated: 2016-08-31
Packaged: 2018-08-12 02:21:05
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 820
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7916662
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Quirkyasfok/pseuds/Quirkyasfok
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Steve is not prepared for the scene he comes across in Tony's workshop. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>Inspired by the song: Gold Trans Am By: Kesha</p>
            </blockquote>





	Wham Bam

**Author's Note:**

> This was literally the first thing that popped into my head while listening to this song.  
> Also I wanted to not be the only person thinking about this...

Living with a group as wild and as strange as the Avengers prepares you for a lot of really weird occurrences. It wasn’t uncommon to find Clint curled up in a vent with a somehow working TV he’d stolen from somewhere eating a sandwich, the God of Thunder carrying around fifty boxes of Pop tarts, or even one of them getting in an argument with the kitchen appliances (the blender really did not seem to like Clint for some reason). So Steve feels he should have been more prepared for the scene in front of him. Especially considering that this is Tony Stark and oddly enough amongst a group of super beings and spies normal human Tony was the oddest, strangest, and most unpredictable of them all.

It’s also not uncommon for Steve to find Tony in strange positions. Like the time he found Tony curled up under his work desk fast asleep covered in grease hugging two coffee cups, or the time he’d gone to get a glass of water from the shared kitchen at 2am and found Tony surrounded by the dismantled pieces of the microwave (really Tony should not be allowed in the kitchen past ten o’clock) attempting to make the microwave ‘better.’

Part of Steve’s brain tries to fill in the blanks of the scene in front of him. He remembers a few months ago after one of their missions Tony talking to a pretty blonde that he’d saved from being crushed under a falling vehicle. She’d been a pole dancing teacher and had been insulted that Tony seemed to deem her practice as ‘easy.’ Steve had ignored most of the conversation considering he was busy trying to deal with the madness that usually came after a giant octopus thing attacked New York.

Now Steve wishes he’d been paid more attention to that conversation, because there is a very lovely, shiny pole in the workshop and Tony Stark is dancing on it. There’s music blaring from the lab’s speakers, a female voice filling the darkened room.

 

_**Wham bam, thank you, man** _

_**Get inside my fucking gold Trans Am** _

_**Wham bam, thank you, man** _

_**Get inside my fucking gold Trans Am** _

_**Pull over sucker, now spread ‘em** _

_**Lemme see what you’re packin’ inside that denim** _

_**Pedal to the medal, looking straight amazing** _

_**I can’t help all the hell that I’m raising** _

_**Stopping traffic like an ambulance** _

_**Tryna get my hands in your worn down pants** _

_**Hey, skynyrd t-shirt tight, baby, need a ride?** _

_**I’m the captain of this ship, so shut up and get inside (get inside)** _

 

Tony’s eyes are shut, body moving fluently to the beat. The way he struts around the pole, the way he grips it and lifts himself into the air twirling and climbing with a practiced ease.

 

**_Come on, climb into my golden cockpit_ **

**_Love you ‘till you’re seeing stars and stripes_ **

**_Burning rubber on the southern highway_ **

**_Gonna take you for a freedom ride_ **

**_Get inside!_ **

 

And then there’s the outfit. The shorts are too small, bright red and outlined in gold. The shirt, if it can even be called that, is iron man inspired and does little but covers a small portion of his chest.

 

_**Wham bam, thank you, man** _

_**Get inside my fucking gold Trans Am** _

_**Wham bam, thank you, man** _

_**Get inside my fucking gold Trans Am** _

 

And then there’s the freaking boots. The bright red sinful thigh high boots.

 

_**Your sweet ass mullet caught my eye** _

_**Now you got me jonesing for a mustache ride** _

_**Twenty bucks and a switchblade knife** _

_**American metal with a devil inside** _

_**Daisy dukes showing off my ass** _

_**And when I walk past give the boys whiplash** _

_**Hey, you, Skynyrd t-shirt tight, baby, need a ride?** _

_**I’m the captain of this ship, so shut up and get inside (get inside)** _

 

He knows he shouldn’t be seeing this. He should leave. He’s intruding on something private.

 

He can’t leave though.

 

**_Come on, climb into my golden cockpit_ **

**_Love you ‘till you’re seeing stars and stripes_ **

**_Burning rubber on the southern highway_ **

**_Gonna take you for a freedom ride_ **

**_Get inside!_ **

**_Freedom ride_ **

**_Get inside!_ **

 

The muscles. The sweat. The music. The moves. The clothes. The fact that it’s Tony freaking Stark pole dancing.

 

_**Come on, climb into my golden cockpit** _

_**Love you ‘till you’re seeing stars and stripes** _

_**Burning rubber on the southern highway** _

_**Gonna take you for a freedom ride** _

_**Get inside!** _

 

The song comes to a close as Tony lowers himself to the ground, back to Steve as he does the splits. Ass cheeks touching the floor. It’s too much and Steve bolts. Shame on full display for all to see as he hurries away.

 

On the ground Tony snaps his fingers as he opens his eyes. The lights coming on as he rises from the floor.

 

“Jarvis order me a new outfit. This one Captain America themed.”

 

“Of course Sir.”


End file.
